[Tree Mail]
Going mobile, you’ll need to do,
Before Immunity comes to you.
Memory and strength each being tested.
Tribal Council if your team is bested.
[Konga Campsite]
MICKEY: Strange. I wonder what it means. It’s so strange.
EULABELLE: Well, I think we’ll do all right in this contest. Glen is really strong, and…
GLEN: And Roger has a fantastic memory. He forgives, but he doesn’t forget.
ROGER: Hey! Anybody seen mah feather? Ah can’t find it anywhere!
MELISSA: … Well, where’s the last place you had it?
ROGER: Lessee. Oh! Hold on! Ah found it. Never mind.
TORGO: We… HAVE… to GO… to the… CHALLENGE… now. The… MASTER… is WAITING.
JEFF PROBST: Survivors, welcome! First, let me take the Immunity Idol back from Konga. [Mickey hands it over, grudgingly.] Now, this Challenge will test both your powers of observation, as well as your ability to work as a team. We had some locals build a couple of igloos. What you need to do is to dismantle your igloo, take the bricks across this ice field, and rebuild it at the end of the course. First Tribe to finish rebuilding their igloo wins Immunity.
MR. B NATURAL: What’s the twist, Jeff? Isn’t there supposed to be a twist? I like twists!
JEFF PROBST: The twist is, you have to re-assemble it with all the bricks in the same order. Each brick has been individually machined by our interns, with precision tools, and the igloo won’t stand up unless it’s re-assembled the same way it was originally built.
LOBO: Thought you said built by locals.
JEFF PROBST: OK, here’s the twist. There’s a cold front coming in, and if you’re not done within thirty minutes, you’re all going to freeze to death. Survivors, ready? GO!
[The Survivors attack their igloos. Torgo falls down several times.]
KITTEN: Oh, man! It’s all frozen together! It’s like a big smoky chunk of nothing, painted white.
NEIL: Whatsa matter, doll-face? Afraid you’re going to chip a nail, or something?
LOBO: Lobo have idea. [He starts beating his head against the structure, gradually breaking it apart.]
[Sampo leading]
EULABELLE: Hey, look at that! Sampo’s ahead of us! We got to get moving!
ROGER: Shoot! This is the lamest Challenge yet!
GLEN: Hold on, I have an idea. Melissa, why don’t you go over there and distract Jeff for a few minutes. The rest of you, wait here with me.
[Melissa goes over to talk with Jeff.]
MELISSA: … Hi, Jeff.
JEFF PROBST: Oh, hi, Melissa. How’s it going?
MELISSA: …You know, we should talk…
JEFF PROBST: OK.
MELISSA: …
MICKEY: Melissa is gone. Will she be coming back?
TORGO: Dude… SHE’s… right… OVER… there. WHAT… is it… with YOU?
MICKEY: I have issues with separation. Separation anxiety.
GLEN: OK, here’s our chance. [Glen picks up the igloo between his thumb and forefinger, and starts across the ice field.] Follow me, guys. Torgo, get Melissa, quick. No wait, Roger, YOU get Melissa.
RUBY: Damn, these blocks of ice are heavy!
CARMELITA: I’m sensing we could have used Warren’s strength right about now.
MR. B NATURAL: Oh, shut up, you witch!
JEFF PROBST: So then I hosted this game show on VH-1, and after that…
MELISSA: … Fascinating… Do go on.
ROGER: M’issa! M’issa! Let’s go!
[Roger and Melissa run off toward the end of the ice field, where Glen has placed the igloo, and the rest of Konga is waiting.]
JEFF: Huh? What? Whoa! Konga’s finished! Immunity goes to Konga! Sampo, I’ll see you tonight at Tribal Council.
[Sampo Campsite]
MR. B NATURAL: OK, time to discuss voting strategy! Which one of THEM are we going to vote out?
LOBO: We know that already. More important who THEY going vote for.
NEIL: How you figure that, stone-head?
RUBY: Kitten’s the only one with votes. She’s already vulnerable.
KITTEN: Well, votes cast by squares shouldn’t count! Grrrr!
LOBO: None of rest of us have any votes! Not single one. You three, vote Kitten. Save my ass in merge, in case of tie-breaker.
GEORGIA: Let me get this straight. You’ve made no secret of your plans to pick off Carmelita, the Sarge, and me, and now you’re trying to tell us how to vote?
NEIL: What’s in it for us?
MR. B NATURAL: Absolutely nothing!
CARMELITA: So we’re supposed to just roll over, like some rube on the Tilt-a-Whirl?
LOBO: We all on same team here. Do best for team. Ohhh… Lobo’s head hurt.
[Tribal Council]
JEFF PROBST: Welcome back to Tribal Council. I’m sure the procedure is still fresh in your mind. So we have some time to kill. Neil, you must be feeling vulnerable right now, along with Georgia and Carmelita. Any thoughts on that?
NEIL: Well, I came here to win, and it ain’t over ‘til it’s over, you know?
MR. B NATURAL: It is SO over. For SOME people, anyway.
JEFF PROBST: OK. The wind chill is about 40 below, so let’s get this over with. I have a nice warm trailer to get back to. Hurry up and vote.
[One at a time, the Survivors cast their votes. Ruby votes last, and returns the bowl containing the votes to Jeff.]
RUBY: Here you go, big boy. Tell ‘em Ruby says hello.
JEFF PROBST: Once again, I need to remind you that once the votes are read, the decision…
KITTEN: We know! We know! (Sobbing) This Kitten is freezing! Brrrr!
JEFF PROBST: OK. I’ll tally the votes.
First vote: Carmelita.
Second vote: Carmelita.
Third vote: Carmelita.
Fourth vote: Hang on a second. OK. Lobo.
The fifth vote: Lobo.
Sixth vote: Lobo. Three votes Carmelita, three votes Lobo.
The final vote:
[He pauses a moment, to let the gravity of the moment register in the minds of the half-frozen nitwits in front of him.]
The second person from the Sampo Tribe voted out of the Yukon: Carmelita. Come forward, Carmelita, and bring your torch. The Tribe has spoken. [Jeff extinguishes Carmelita’s torch, and she leaves. But not before casting the Evil Eye upon certain members of the Sampo Tribe.]
JEFF PROBST: All right then. This concludes another Tribal Council. The two Tribes are now even at six members each. See you next time, on Survivor!
Day 13-14
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